Friday, January 2, 2015

Mindnotes: day 2 in Phnom Penh

Mind notes - 2nd day in Phnom Penh

And then and then and then :)

I woke up at 8am, quite late compared to what I expected. 
I wanted a morning for myself, alone in the streets with no one around me.
In the morning I am not talkative and I like to think of my day, the plan, and wake up as my brain starts burning.
I got up and got dressed. I wanted a big black coffee and fruits .
I walked and as I got out of the guesthouse, someone called me. It was Rain, a very kind man who drives a tuktuk. Lucky me, I found a kind of phobo maker. I got a soup with noodles and vegetables and meet. I never eat sugared stuffs. It makes me slow. I love the real meal.  ´Forget the fruits for now'
He took one too, apparently he is used to that. Then Ludi popped up and said ' hello I need my soup! '
Unexpected, we found each other to be in love with the same early habit to eat salted dishes. We got coffee. The most amazing coffee I have ever drunk in my life.
It is dark with not sugar and milk for me but here it is long and strong and has that sweet taste. The coffee is naturally sweet.
Then I spoke with people, too much information in the morning but it was ok. I am not here to rest. :)

The sweetest time was when Zara the lovely daughter of Ludi showed me her cat house. She found 3 baby cats yesterday. They were abandonned. She is 6 yo and is so cute and loving. She said : I made a house for them so they can get in and out and there is another door for me and my friends so we can get in with them too and they don't have to go out. Only when they like. The little house was nice and she installed a kind of dreamcather with feathers. I was attracted by the caring soul she has. She wanted to protect them and let them free at the same time. Beautiful 

I spoke with Ludi, nice conversation, it could have lasted for hours and hours. Connexion.
Then at 2 I got prepared to paint. I made my mix with primer in which I added some yellow. I wanted the wall to reflect the bright light that prevails in this city. In my mind I want to create a city of light from the small amount of art I will bring here during my stay.
Then I must say the afternoon was quite calm and I enjoyed priming the wall, making it nice from any single inch. Relaxing, I got to think a lot, I was well. I met many people on my way. Here people were a bit surprised to see me doing all this. Many locals and expats. And expats here are very creative and all run their own business or creative activities , very often doing 2 or 4 things at the same time. I love to be surrounded by open-minded people like that.
Painting and rolling on and on, the 10 m wall became shiny, glowing, like a source of light in the night.
It was hot and dry, lovely wether around 30 degrees. I drank coffee and water, I gave all my energy.
I have always loved to work out my body, and do these physical things. Somehow I feel like a craftsman like a baker who creates love with one's pastries and bread. No one knows what he's doing in the kitchen but we can feel the love in it when we taste it.
Secretly , I was feeling like a wizard, with my hat making a secret recipe to create a magic thing.
Many people came by and stayed with me watching as I was spreading White paint on the wall.
I could feel they liked the calm and focus of my state of mind, it was relaxing for me, and for them too.
At 4 I moved and sat for 10 minutes, then got the spraycans and got to start painting. Minute after minute the shapes got out of me so easily and so fast. I stopped and watched the wall. I was in another word and did not realise I was the one who was doing this, almost like I was hosted by some kind of spirit.
The area is very mystical. There is a powerful energy here. If you are sensitive and keen on your feeling gut, you may understand what I mean. Otherwise just skip that passage :)
The energy here is divided. Once there is beauty and pure love in the air, once there is devil, violence and things. 
Yesterday I was told about all the past of this area. The Khmer people genocide and all the massacres and pain people endured. I was like: ok, that makes sense.
In some way, I think everyone has problems, but then I me Vishna. I loved that guy who has a small shop here and does coffee. He's old and got light in his face, calm and smiling. He is an educated Cambodian, very quite who does not speak a lot, but curious and gentle. I loved his presence as I was drinking the coffee.
I felt he was the kind of person I like, basically not people like me , people who are calm and think twice before they speak, people who do not play any game, people who are just themselves, and do not pretend to be or have anything. Just cool people.
He was elegant and I loved that. 
People here are very lively, and I kind of start feeling there is so much things available for a cheap price that everyone tends to be excessive and consume a lot of anything. And it is almost like gluttony or better said : do they really appreciate the moment, or do they just consume ? 
I personally never eat more than I normally eat and I never use to many things just because they are cheap.
At the end of the day, 6pm when I was dark I came back to my room to shower. I met Tony, a guy I saw yesterday.

Yesterday when I got home at midnight the door of the guesthouse was closed. The massive metallic fence was in front of me. I thought for a second to climb above it. Then a big fight happened 2 m next to me. A woman got punched by her husband, she cried, he left. I was there, tired , wanted to rest but... I could not ignore.
The guesthouse manager opened the door to check what was going on, and that was my luck. Luck for me, bad luck for her. I went to her, and took her in my arms. Nobody seemed to care about her.
I have always been standing for my rights as a human being and always been amazingly supportive to people who suffer, I hate injustice and that shakes my blood from the deepest in a way that is instinctive.
I stayed with her and caressed her back, she was shocked.
As I was caressing her back I really felt she was hurt but she could heal thanks to my support. 
I looked in her eyes and left.
Then I heard her scream at her husband who was back. She snapped him. She was upset not only because he disappointed her, but because she really loves him despite his disgusting behaviour.
I was in my bed and could hear her scream like a tiger who was about to eat his prey.
I think she was right :D

So I went on the balcony and wrote something, my thoughts.
Tony the guy leaving next door came and was drunk. He talked to me and offered peanuts. I did not mean to talk and I can't really stand drunk people so I just said: well I am writing so I can't speak to you.
Sometimes I can appear as rude just because I am so direct. I do not want to please to anyone or lose my time. I just take my time for myself and the things I want to invest in, like my work, like the people I like.
I like to do things I really like. And I do not do anything else.
I was thinking: I really love my life and feel better and better. 
Just because I know what I want and what I do not want. Everything is easy. 
Everything gets easier.
I can stand loneliness and being with my art or thinking of it or preparing it.
Ludi said: your are in love with your art like it is the first love.
I said: well I never thought of it this way but it is so true that it gives me so much pleasure than anything else on this earth. 

So my day was full inside my heart inside my mind even if pragmatically just a couple of things happened and I completed some simple tasks.
But still , it was a full and complete day, the kind of day that inspires you and makes you feel complete.

I was hungry so hate fish, and rice and vegetables. That was a big dish. People said: you're eating a lot. I said: well that is all I need. 
And I enjoyed . 
Now I am outside , drinking one beer (no sparkling wine around) , and write these thoughts and think: oh I have to re read but... Let's keep it simple and raw.

See you tomorrow ;)

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